Autism Message Boards: Adult Brother in the spectrum

I'm posting here because there doesn't appear to be much readership in the Adult forums. My brother is 51 and most likely has Aspergers. He has never been formally diagnosed. I am an RN in developmental/behavioral medicine and, believe me, he fits the DSM-IV. The docs I work with agree with my assessment. The family realization that he has Aspergers came about 3 years ago after my mom died and I started working in this field. Until then, we really didn't know anything about autism. When we were children, a long time ago, the only thing we knew about autism was the stereotypical silent child rocking alone in the corner. My brother did have considerable psychological counseling as a child and we certainly were aware he was different. NO social skills, despite constant modeling and coaching; withdrawn from family; no empathy towards anyone; no acknowledgement that there are social mores that the rest of us follow, however unconscionably. That, of course, has continued. He is incredibly smart, about some things, and has a degree in journalism from a large university, which he has never used. He has held long-term employment in the printing industry until the plant closed 4 years ago. Since then he has not been successful in obtaining a full-time job. The situation has become more complicated in the past 3 months as my father died in December. Dad had been paying for health/auto insurance and providing my brother a couple of hundred dollars a month, a my brother was working occasionally through a temp agency, so was able to still live on his own. Just before Dad got sick, he had decided to have my brother move in with him to save some money and concentrate on getting a job. Well, I'm now the executor of the estate, my brother is living in my Dad's house, and it's costing about $800 a month to keep the house going while he lives there doing basically nothing. He refuses to clean the house or do anything that he believes someone else would "expect" him to do. This has been a hallmark of his behavior. If he decides for himself to do something: great. If he believes it is what anyone else would expect him to do: he refuses. To my knowledge, no one has ever discussed Aspergers or autism with him as it applies to him. We have a teen-aged cousin who was diagnosed w/Aspergers a couple of years ago and my brother was present during a discussion about this young man. My brother was incensed that anyone would label this boy just because his behavior is different from what someone else thinks it should be. Obviously, approaching him about his own behavior and possible diagnosis is going to be extremely difficult. From recent discussions with him about Dad's estate, it is increasingly apparent that I cannot just hand over a bunch of money and expect it to be managed responsibly. Okay, it's my definition of "resonsibly," but I will not let him squander money that needs to last him a couple of decades at least, just because he doesn't believe in asset protection and tax savings. He thinks he just needs to have money in a savings account and that's that! He has told an adult cousin he is staying in the house because that's the only way he has control of what happens to his share of the estate. In other words, he belives I will not be fair in the distribution if he moves out of the house. I am working with an attorney and may have to force the diagnosis issue in order to establish a custodial trust. This will be extremely devisive and could sever what little relationship I have with my brother. We are far from best friends, but he is still my brother and I completely accept the responsibility left me by my Dad. So, not having had a childhood diagnosis of Aspergers, what do I do? Has anybody come across an adulthood diagnosis? Any suggestions?