I have a son who will be 7 in May. He was diagnosed with PDD_NOS when he was 3 and then at 4 1/2 he was diagnosed with high functioning autism. Now he has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. I understand everything you are feeling. We are at a difficult point right now with our son. He definitely goes through cycles. We can go through a couple of months and everything seems calm, and then all of a sudden everything falls apart. Then we will have weeks and sometimes months of complete chaos. We have 2 daughters and this is so hard on both of them. They are 10 and 5. My husband has times where he is supportive and then he just gets upset about the situation and says, "There is nothing wrong with Judson, he is just acting out." My husband is going through denial and think some grief. I believe he had expectations of what our only son would be. He wants the son who plays baseball and interacts with others well. He is grieving for the loss of the son we thought we would have. I myself am past the denial, I know our son has autism because he has been diagnosed by several different doctors and specialists. There are times I think it shouldn't have to be this hard, and I find myself asking why. Our son's disability has cut our family off from any type of socialization. I had several friends that I have lost touch with since our son was diagnosed. They have no idea how difficult this is, and how time consuming it can be. You are not alone, there are so many other families going through this, they just may not be in our communities. That is why I finally turned to the internet to find some sort of support. I hope that this helps, it is always such a relief to find someone or just know that there are others going through the same thing.