your story sounds just like mine in fact it took my husband a year to come to terms. If I were you I would o to a developmental pediatrician or a neurologist or a chils development center for a diagnosis I also thought my son would be diagnosed with autism or aspbergers look into
non verbal learning disorder its not on the spectrum but very similar and not as well known. as for the school follow your own instincts have outside evaluations done
after a schools evaluations you can request for outside evaluations do it in writing pick your own dr's and make them pay. get a ood feel for what your son needs I would also speak to an educational advocate even if you at least et a consult. when dealing with an IEP know your rights!!!! Alot of schools wont tell you them or care about them. Its a long hard road it hasnt ended for me I dont know if it ever will but use this to make yourself a stroner person. good luck I hope some of this helped Im also still learning. let me know how you make out