‘Love on the Spectrum’ Review from an Autism Family’s Perspective
“Love on the Spectrum” is a new dating series on Netflix, featuring young ASD adults as they seek to enter the mysterious world of dating and romance.
Everyone is autistic and seeking the same. We are introduced to various characters, all of whom live with their parents and who are their biggest cheerleaders in this endeavor. A professional dating coach pops in to teach the basic social skills of a first date. Introduce yourself, men — stand up and pull out the woman’s chair — then ask about special interests and you’re off to the races seems to be the essential formula.
Most first dates are incredibly awkward and first dates for those for whom dating is a complete mystery proves especially daunting. Add to that the reality show filming this social rubicon and the cast did remarkably well. One girl was overwhelmed by the anxiety of the cameras and the formal dining scene of her first date, but it was handled respectfully and the couple ultimately had a second try at a Comic-Con where they were both in costume.
The viewer finds themselves rooting for the people on the show who appear to have the deck stacked against them on matters of love and marriage.
Surprisingly though, ASD individuals have an advantage over neurotypicals when it comes to actual marriage. The world’s foremost authority on Asperger’s, Tony Attwood, relates that neurotypicals typically cite “being in love” as their reason for marriage, while autistic individuals look for a “lifelong friend and helpmate.” Individuals with autism also value routine and find comfort in it. As a result, those on the autism spectrum are uniquely suited for matrimonial longevity. But statistics are grim when only one person in the marriage is autistic. Attwood wrote the forward to “Alone Together (Making an Asperger Marriage Work)” on this particular topic.
I invited my young adult son who’s on the spectrum to watch “Love on the Spectrum” with me. Cinema is one of his special interests and he is hypersensitive to how autism is portrayed in television and film. For instance, he hated Rain Man for portraying the autistic character as a “spectacle without his own agency.” The Big Bang Theory fell short for him as well as he thought the audience is set up to laugh at, and not with, the character with autism. So he was ready for “Love on the Spectrum” to be offensive in some way but said, “there were a lot of ways it could’ve gone wrong but it went surprisingly right.”
It’s refreshing to see autism represented in a dating series on Netflix. All the more so because it’s a respectful and poignant portrayal of this particular quest for human connection.
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